Mr. Jihad

A while back, my girlfriend and I went to visit a couple friends of ours at their apartment building on Bronson Avenue.... They have a young child and haven't been getting out much, so we picked up a pizza and decided to stop in, watch the OC and hangout'n'chat for a bit. We walked into the lobby and began to scan the residents list to find their buzzer..

Once we located theirs and called up, I spotted their neighbour's name-> Mr. A Jihad. I had to laugh. "ha!". "haha". 'Wow!".. But only for a moment.. What a name with which to go through this first decade of the 21st century... Kyla and I talked about it for a minute, and we thought- can you imagine traveling internationally with a name like 'Jihad'? Applying for credit cards? Picking up a pizza? Let alone the number of prank calls you'd recieve, or the perturbed looks you might get when introducing yourself to someone.. man, tough shake. "sir.. your name?" .. 'miister jihad...'... sir?' 'Mr. Jihaaaaad'... 'Sir, Im awfully sorry, what is you....' "JIHAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

We went up to our friend's apartment and I mentioned jokingly, "I noticed you have a Mr. Jihad leaving nearby, you might want to keep your doors locked.".. She smiled and said, "Well, it could be a personal Jihad.." I immediately began to feel terrible.

Images flashed through my head: of Mr. Jihad's children being visciously pushed around by a bunch of redneck bullies.. his wife being undermined or eyeballed while trying to borrow some gardening books from the library... bankers cautiously allowing Mr. Jihad to open his bags and withdraw his records, expecting dynamite wrapped in wire and wristwatches.. How could I make this joke, knowing nothing about this person? Jesus, I AM an asshole.. It certainly isnt their fault that this word has become a cultural flagword- waved by fearsome Christians around the world, among which I suppose I am to be (at least formerly) counted. Maybe they are christians themselves, like that makes them any safer. But maybe they are like real Christians, good samataritans, who happened to be named Jihad? Could this be one of those cases of judging a book by its cover, or perhaps the name of its illustrator..hmmm.. I wish Sandy Cohen was here.

Then I began to consider, how many other buzzwords of negative association are also people's last names? Beyond even the negative cultural associations/assumptions of words like Jihad.. But there are the actual names of evil historical figures. Imagine meeting a Mrs. Hitler, Dr. Mussolini? Mark David Chapman Jr? I will make a point to give these people the benefit of the doubt, should this happen.