Message Boreds

It's interesting to watch how message boards grow, change, progress, regress, regenerate and sometimes expand into your real life. As much as the Internet keeps people cocooned in their dens, incapsulated intimately in a warm blanket of voyeurism and anonymity; it also allows them the opportunity to find like-minded people and participate in a forum or community.

I've been a regular poster on a couple of boards and I've lurked on many.. In the process, I have dicovered that there are standard characters to be found in each variety of online community. Whether the focus is music, culture, food or politics; there are always also a range of personality types to get to know. Often good message boards will be made up of excellent thinkers, comedians and communicators, delivering the goods post after post. I think no matter how positive or negative a board, you'll be sure to find one (or many) of these representing each of these categories, or in some cases, a combination of..:

Mild Mannered Lifer: These characters are the bread and butter of any message board. Usually they have been participating since the Internet was in its infancy and likely have been involved in tangible ways for much longer. Usually they can provide experienced, sage advice to anyone seeking it. Often they have incredible stories featuring personalities who have become icons. Sometimes they get worked up over something very little.. Its usually a good idea to figure out who fits into this character mold, and learn from them.

The New Hope : This person is new to the scene, discovering the ins and outs very quickly and very enthusiastically. Often they are embarrasingly naive, but too nice to initiate quick and painfully. Let them figure it out themselves, I say, and re-live all your old pitfalls.

Fact Checking Link Nerd: This person is highly knowledgable in the field, demonstrating at every opportunity their precise fact checking and supreme linking abilities. Usually, this person is involved in computers or science in real life, and has developed these web scouring skills over many years. Sometimes this person might be a little bit on the obsessive side, but thats ok, they mean well, and usually endear themselves.

The Old Hope: This used to be the New Hope. They learned the lessons, took the ride, made some wrong turns and graduated with a C+.. Usually this is person harbours some bitterness, and tends to lash out, in most cases with biting sarcasm. Often, Old Hopes seem to fizzle out completely and dissapear from message boards- longing for the good old days.. when there was hope. I have seen cases where their enthusiasm has been reborn.

Jaded Knowitall: Sometimes a board elder, other times a character who has absorbed everything too quickly and is sickened by it all. Always a smart one. Usually they are adept at delivering a well timed picture, photo-shop, or rehashing something that has become once again appropriate .

Real Life board Talkers: It's ok to share a laugh about something that took place on the board, or discuss a topic broached in cyberspace. But, this is the one who always tries to talk about 'that incident' on the board as if it mattered at all, in real life or not, in painful depth. For Christsakes, take this real life opportunity to connect on a real level with real people. And just because you saw a picture of someone online, does not mean you know them or should introduce yourself.

Johnny One-liner: Usually an established veteran of the board that has stepped away from regular posting. This person carries weight, often for an unknown, unspoken reason. And, this person seems to be able to crack the perfect one liner in most threads. Appropriate or not. They dont often contribute that much in discussion, but the comedic relief they supply is usually invaluable.

The V.I.P : This is someone that is actually important in the world of (whatever). They pop on and deliver beautifully crafted posts that usually touch on many pertinent subjects, sometimes offering perspective or a different point of view when matters become heated. Visits from VIPS often excite the regulars very much. Validating the importance they've invested in said group.

The use-less tit: Someone who offers nothing but poor grammar, weird ideas, and annoying behaviour. Their writings often provoke images of a shared computer in an insane asylum. Of the ones I've met in real life, they usually appear unstable. Don't invite these people into your home.

The Overlord: This person probably runs the website or they feel they are responsible for it becoming a succesful community. Every Overloard is different, so I can't generalize (ha!), but they are usually kind of gracious. Unless they are the silent-tyrant type.

Golden-child: Every group has at least 1 or 2. This is the person that combines all the good, and makes it even better.. Usually a well-educated, well-read, informed human. Sometimes it seems like they are wasting their talents, but they are usually being paid to sit at a computer elsewhere, so dont feel too bad for them. Heartfelt writings, hilarious rants, touching replies, timely avatars, sensible opinions, good advice and great ideas.. Always a pleasure to read these.

I cant think of anymore right now, but I think that Ive covered off quite a few. If I think of more I'll certainly add them.

Now I'm gonna go outside and play

Origin of Boycat

Hi there!

So I thought I would clear this up. If only for myself.

For the purpose of keeping myself entertained, I've named this blog- "Adventures of the Boycat".

I realized today, that any unsuspecting reader would likely assume that I, the author/blogger, would be the boycat in question; Or at least that I am some variety of boy-cat.

Admittedly, I am, in my mind, sort of a metaphorical boycat, or, at least, I want to be. In reality, I'm truthfully more of a bear-man.

Anyway, I first learned of the REAL boycat a couple months back having dinner at Kyla (my girlfriend)'s parent's house. After dinner, we usually discuss the usual: life-happenings, day-to day type stuff, work, politics, whatever... but as the wine pours down our gullets and the food settles, we often get into quirkier, more interesting and often more subversive subject matter. The last time we were over for a visit, John (Kyla's dad), told us a story about an older friend of his who has a grandchild, around the age of 4, who is obsessed with cats- Let's call him Johnny. So much is he intrigued and inspired by cats, that he's decided he'd rather like to be one.

He has taken to emulating his cats around the house. He gets home from school and immediatley drop to all fours and kicks the meowing into high gear.. Instead of relaxing on the couch, hel often sits perched on the arm rest of the couch licking his wrists and grooming himself. He started asking his mother to feed him milk in a saucer, so he could lap it up like his fellow kitties. He'd hiss if someone stepped on his imaginary tail, and he's even taken to greeting visitors to the house with a purry rub past their shins.

This was apparently a bit of a joke around the house for a while. A cute little phase that little Johnny would soon be over, and they would all, eventually, laugh about. The kid loves cats with all his heart- you have to forgive some of the absurdity and weirdness, I suppose.. Things came to a head one night they had guests over for dinner.. I didnt really get an idea of what happened, but perhaps he was simply refusing to revert to 'normal' Johnny for the dinner table. Perhaps he was 'spraying' their shoes or nibbling on the table cloth. I actually have some fantastic mental imagery of a dinner party gone awry, thanks to boycat... but I'll let you enjoy your own. Anyway, after the incident, his father decided it was time to talk..

He took his son, his pride and joy, aside and began to tell him that he would have to put his feline tendencies behind him, because he was embarrasing himself and his family.... but when the little boycat looked him in the eye, he realized he could not damper this child's fantastic innocence and imagination, and would instead try to fool him into giving up this increasingly creepy charade.

Father said, "Johnny, I know you think you are a cat, but there is one big problem". Johnny's boycat ears slanted back in anticipation. "Cats have fur instead of clothes!!".. "It looks silly, seeing a little boiii-uh.... cat, dressed in little boy's clothes!!". Johnny looked at his father, and nodded. He gave his father a hug, seemingly realizing that it was time to put a stop to his behaviour, and walked (on his hind legs) to bed.

The next morning, as mother and father sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast, Johnny sauntered into the kitchen and mom dropped her spoon into her cereal bowl, alarmed. Something was different.. and it was quite obvious that Father didnt get the message across. Johnny was taking the cat impression to the next level and appropriating his father's ill-advice, by shuffling into the kitchen on all fours, nude.

Doing what what it takes, to do what he wants; boycat is an inspiration to me.

So that's the story. I dont know how long it took for his father to strangle some sense into him and I dont really want to know. I love the idea of this kid.. it's like the other side of the 'american dream', the catch 22. Although Johnny's predicament is absurd and his desire, for the most part, pointless and removed from normal society, he continues to persue it with intense passion. Maybe you can't acheive everything with persistence and hard work. Or maybe you can and sometimes it just doesnt make sense to anyone but you.... my fingers are crossed for the boycat.. and that everyone, can someday find their inner feline. (but hopefully still find someway to contribute to society) ;)

It was a good sized blog....

Well, here is it! My first blog entry!


AWESOME.